I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
