Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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