And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
