Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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