I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
