I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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