Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
