The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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