This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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