I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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