first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
