Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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