I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
