so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
