thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize