Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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