I cannot find my penis.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
