I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
