I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
