i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize