As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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