the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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