so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
