Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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