what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
