Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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