I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
