Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
