Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
