Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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