from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This baby is an asshole
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
