We named our party play list daddy issues
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
