yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
