I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
