Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
