Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My bed smells like the plague
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
