I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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