try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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