Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
