he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
