its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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