belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They have beer where we have blood.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
