the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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