cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
