5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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