Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
