I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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