So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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