your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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