why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Randomize