i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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