Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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