Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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