I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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