So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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