Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize