i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
