Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
