We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
