living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
What drink are we having for lunch?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
