Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
