Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
