My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
