so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
