this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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