I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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